The Elephant in the Room: Death Remains the Ultimate Taboo Topic for 32 Million Brits

26 September 2023

• More than half of the nation (58%) says talking about death, dying and bereavement is the ‘elephant in the room’

• However, over half (56%) say having more open conversations about death and dying would help them be more open to talk about it

• In response, Co-op is relaunching its biggest ever survey into death, dying and bereavement engaging over 45,000 UK adults since first launching in 2018

There’s a good reason an ‘elephant in a room’ has popped up in London this week.

The thought-provoking – and eye-catching – installation was created by Co-op Funeralcare to get the nation talking about death, after preliminary research found that 32 million Brits (58%)* consider it the ultimate ‘elephant in the room’ - a difficult topic that people do not want to talk about.

Standing over 11 feet tall in front of Tower Bridge, the elephant sat in a living room aims to encourage people to start the conversation about funerals and take part in the biggest ever survey into death, dying and bereavement.

Partnering with the UK’s leading bereavement charity, Cruse Bereavement Support, the survey will look to gather opinions from consumers, funeral directors, Co-op members and colleagues – asking them to give their views on death, bereavement and funeral wishes to uncover what stops us from talking about these important topics, five years since the survey’s inception in 2018.

Although 54% of UK adults have experienced the loss of a loved one in the last five years, death remains a topic that many (27%) would rather not talk about, ahead of money trouble (25%), religion (17%) and politics (13%). The research also found that a combined two thirds of respondents avoided the topic altogether, as they didn’t want to think about the death of their loved ones (32%) or upset others with the subject (32%). However, over half (56%) say having more open conversations about death and dying would make them more open to discussing their funeral wishes with a loved one.

Gill Stewart, Managing Director at Co-op Funeralcare said, “Taking that step and talking to loved ones about death is one of the hardest conversations people have to have, but it’s a topic that so greatly needs normalising. If the time comes and no plans have been put in place a lot of decisions are left for your loved ones – and that can add a daunting element to an already difficult time.

“It’s not every day you see an elephant in the middle of London - let alone one this big - but we wanted to do something memorable to create a buzz and invite people to take the survey to get the discussion started.”

Lucy Harmer, Chief Executive at Cruse Bereavement Support said, “This research from our partners at Co-op highlights the need for accessible information and support for people struggling with their grief. Over half of the UK say they feel that death and bereavement is the ultimate ‘elephant in the room’, yet the same number feel it needs to be talked about openly. This shows just how crucial it is that organisations like Cruse and Co-op continue to support communities to have conversations around grief, death and dying.

“We know just how important talking can be when it comes to a person’s grief journey and this installation from Co-op Funeralcare will hopefully spur on even more conversations and allow people to feel heard when they are struggling.”

As part of the initiative, Co-op Funeralcare also teamed up with Kelsey Parker, wife of Tom Parker and Campaigner.

Kelsey commented: “I know from personal experience just how difficult losing a loved one is, and how hard it can be to plan and put together the perfect funeral for them while trying to grieve. The one bit of advice I can give, and I hope people take away from this experience, is to just be open and talk to loved ones about your wishes so that when the times comes, they are prepared.

“Funerals don’t have to be such a scary thing; they can be personal and bring comfort and closure, but we just need to address the elephant in the room and get the conversation started.”

Rt Hon Carolyn Harris MP, who along with Co-op successfully campaigned for the introduction of a Children’s Funeral Fund in 2019, commented: “This research really highlights the barriers that still need to be broken down when it comes to discussing death. Grief is so difficult to navigate, but by talking and sharing the burden, it could be made so much easier.

“Starting those difficult conversations with those you love and care about, or comforting those who have lost a loved one, needs to be normalised and I commend Co-op for tackling this with their campaign, which I am delighted to support.”

To take part in Co-op Funeralcare’s survey on death, dying and bereavement, go to yougov.com/coopsurvey

Ends

For further information please contact: coopfuneralcare@wpragency.co.uk / pressoffice@coop.co.uk

Notes to Editors

• Calculated using ONS UK adult figures and Censuswide fieldwork Research was conducted by Censuswide. Total sample size was 1000 adults. Fieldwork was undertaken between 16th – 18th August 2023.

About Co-op:

Co-op is one of the world’s largest consumer co-operatives with interests across food, funerals, insurance and legal services. Owned by millions of UK consumers, the Co-op operates over 2,400 food stores, over 800 funeral homes and provides products to over 5,000 other stores, including those run by independent co-operative societies and through its wholesale business, Nisa Retail Limited.

Employing almost 60,000 people, the Co-op has an annual turnover of over £11billion and is a recognised leader for its social goals and community-led programmes. The Co-op exists to meet members’ needs and stand up for the things they believe in.